Hallo hallo, without doxxing myself, I recently got even more money now, and now I'm looking at wedding rings TT_TT It just seems so much more likely for me to get a wedding ring from myself than from a man. And I'm just so upset in my heart seeing the "recently purchased page" thinking "wow, some guy loved his girl $x,xxx amount" and some guys spending over $50k, over $100k on those ladies. And I think, man, what did those women do to deserve such rings? What makes them more special than the ladies getting $3k or $8k rings? They must be really beautiful and special. Most of all, no matter the ring cost, just the idea, while browsing the catalogue, that "some guy is doing thing, looking at these rings right now, because he loves a woman so much he wants to marry her, yet here I am doing it for myself. It should be a guy looking at these rings and thinking of me." I just think about how ridiculous my parents must feel if they see me walking around buying a ring for myself instead of buying something more "useful"

I know, I know, I'm lucky, I can get plastic surgery now (but why do I have to risk dying on the table just to be normal looking?)

I know, I know, some of those women getting proposed to might be trapped by toxic men who don't want them to leave or they may be pregnant and forced to get married.

I just think, pinkpill is the only place that will understand how sorry for myself I feel that even if I can afford to buy a ring, I both want to and don't want to.

It's just, in society, it feels like if you're not married, not in a relationship (NEVER BEEN IN ONE!) people will assume "something must be wrong with her if a guy didn't pick her, so she is still deficient in some way" which is why I strive to be pretty (and compensating by being wealthier), and beautiful so that my singlehood is a choice and not because "nobody wanted you" which is why I had that brilliant idea of buying my own ring. I DO feel like I have to compensate and get the biggest ring, but some of these diamonds are ridiculously huge I feel like a walking advertisement to get mugged. That's the point of the man, isn't it? To protect his woman from being robbed?

I just wish I could look at my hand and think "somebody loves me" I suppose I'll "settle" for that being ME. And you know, I think it isn't very feminist of me to say self love doesn't count, it has to be love from a man that counts. Very patriarchal to discount my own self love. But love, by definition, means for something other than yourself right?

I just want a ring... wouldn't it be fun to go out in public and gaslight people? "how did such an ugly bitch get a huge ass ring?" hahaha. It's just!!! People on my facebook wall are getting married. Old friends have already been through divorce, telling me how men ain't shit. And I'm inclined to believe them, believe women. But I've never had the "l" word said to me. I've never even been on an actual date

I think one picture burned in my memory is a snapchat from an instagram model several years ago, one riled in controversy because many girls know she secretly got plastic surgery but won't admit it, but she lives a life of luxury now - anyway, that one photo was of her with a ring on her finger saying "this costs a house!" (300k+) and it was written in my heart since then that I wanted a ring that costs a house! And surely, many of them do. I don't think I'm that insecure that I want the biggest diamond money can buy. Something subtle would be good enough...

But imagine, a guy loving you enough to spend that much on you! I wonder if she has a sugar daddy fund her lifestyle. The snap did imply someone bought it for her, though in her photos she doesn't wear any rings. Though, this was years ago too. Maybe they've divorced now. Or maybe it was a psyops too, and she bought her own ring.

I don't know. I just want to buy a ring in that, it satisfies that "itch" the way vibrators keep women from having casual sex with toxic men, I want to buy a ring to satisfy the itch of wishing someone would commit and love me. I'm just getting older and more "undateable" all the time.

What are you guys' thoughts? Do you think it would be empowering to buy a ring for yourself? Gaslight people into thinking you're valuable and attractive? Would it scare off a potential, actual lover? Or is it just time to give up and buy a ring to reap the rewards of "yes I have a husband you don't need to ask me what's wrong with me" Could it be a fun counter culture trend to buy your own rings out of self love?

I think if I really go through with getting a ring, I might do some research and check out different styles in person too.